Have you ever become wrapped up in a whirlwind romance, only to later discover that your partner was not who you thought they were? Did you cast your partner in your image of a perfect lover, rather than discovering their true nature? Did you look to them for a sense of purpose, identity, and self-worth?
We often feel that we are in love, when really we are in need of validation. Below are twenty signs that your relationship may have more to do with emotional dependence than true love. If your partnership seems to fall into the pattern outlined here, you may want to think twice about whether it is a healthy one for you.
1. You are often jealous when your partner spends time with other people.
2. Your partnership is causing you or your significant other to withdraw from relationships and hobbies that used to be important.
3. You find yourself feeling possessive of your partner. You don’t trust other women/men around him/her. You are afraid your partner will get stolen away from you.
4. You have changed your favorite sports teams, spiritual practices, or political affiliation to please your partner.
5. When your partner is not with you, you feel empty, alone, or bored.
6. You need constant reminders that your partner loves you.
7. You will cancel plans with family or friends to spend time with your partner.
8. You fish for compliments.
9. You like to have some degree of control over your partner. If they don’t do what you want them to, you feel distraught.
10. Your partner’s validation is more important than your own.
11. If you lost your partner, you fear that you would be unable to move on with your life.
12. Your partner has to meet specific expectations. If not, you do not feel loved or safe.
13. You pressure your partner to do or say things that they are not comfortable with.
14. You give in to pressure from your partner to say or do things that you are not comfortable with.
15. If your partner does not call when you expect them to, you feel anxiety. You worry that they no longer love you.
16. Your sense of self-worth relies on your partner’s affection and approval.
17. You are more focused on your partner’s feelings for you than on their identity and personality.
18. You feel that you can change your partner into the person you want to be with.
19. Who your partner is on the inside does not matter as much as who they appear to be in front of you and others.
20. You tend to idealize people, and then fall apart when they do not live up to your image of them.
Zimbawe’s doctor goes missing after masterminding strike
Fearless Zimbabwe’s minister of health has called on the government to address insecurity lapses that has lead to the disappearance Peter Magombeyi, the head of a doctor’s union, who disappeared on Saturday.
Fears are rising over the fate of Zimbabwe medical doctor Dr Peter Magombeyi after he sent a message to say he had been abducted in that country by unknown persons – apparently for demanding a “living wage”.
An AFP report earlier on Sunday quoted the Zimbabwe Hospital Doctor’s Association (ZHDA) as saying Magombeyi had not been heard from since he sent a WhatsApp message on Saturday night saying he had been “kidnapped by three men”.
Zimbabwe doctors, who earn a miserly equivalent of about R3 000 are on strike to press for better wages, equipment and medicines in state hospitals.
The ZHDA has reportedly accused state security forces of abducting the doctor because of his role in organising work stoppages.
This week some doctors said the death of deposed Robert Mugabe, 95, in a Singapore hospital on 6 September was an indication of how bad health services in Zimbabwe
“Dr Magombeyi’s crime is only to ask for a living wage for his profession. This is a reflection of the troubles born out of refusal to implement Political Reforms.”
The Zimbabwe government led by Emmerson Mnangagwa has not publicly commented on the doctor’s disappearance
Turkey: Group calls for immediate action against Femicide
Emine Dirican, a beautician from Istanbul, tried to be a good wife. But her husband hated that she worked, that she socialized, even that she wanted to leave the house sometimes without him.
She tried to reason with him. He lashed out.
“One time, he tied me — my hands, my legs from the back, like you do to animals,” recalls Dirican, shuddering. “He beat me with a belt and said, ‘You’re going to listen to me, you’re going to obey whatever I say to you.’ “
She left him and moved in with her parents. In January, he showed up, full of remorse and insisting he had changed. She let him in.
In her mother’s kitchen, he grabbed her by the hair, threw her to the floor and pulled out a gun.
“He shot me,” she says. “Then he went back to my mom and he pulled the trigger again, but the gun was stuck. So he hit her head with the back of the gun.”
Her father, who was in another room in the house, heard the gunshots and ran over. Dirican almost bled to death after a bullet ripped through a main artery in one of her legs.
“I was telling my father, ‘Daddy, please, I don’t want to die.’ “
Femicide — killing women because of their gender — is a longstanding issue in Turkey. Nearly 300 women have been killed so far this year, according to the Istanbul-based advocacy group We Will Stop Femicide, which has been tracking gender-related deaths since Turkish authorities stopped doing so in 2009.
Source Npr news
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