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9 Things guys secretly hate about sex with the woman on top

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What’s your favorite sex position? That’s the first question I ask women on dates, which is why all of my dates end after one question. There are so many great sex positions to choose from: missionary, cowgirl, doggystyle, the butter churner, the wheelbarrow, the pretzel. There’s even sex positions inspired by the epic fantasy series Game of Thrones, if you’re interested in “bending the knee” (and I know you are).
However, there’s one sex position a lot of guys don’t like: when the woman’s on top. I mean, we want women to be on top, like, in general. Smash that glass ceiling! We just don’t want you to be on top in the bedroom. So leave that glass ceiling in the bedroom in perfect condition. No smashing! Especially while we’re smashing. Don’t smash while we smash. Got it? Cool.



Here are nine things guys secretly hate about sex with the woman on top:

1. His penis might snap.

Yes, penis snapping is a thing. It’s also known as “penile fracture,” “broken dick” or “OWWWWWWW WHAT THE F—K?!” See, much like the Internet, a penis is a series of tubes. When a man gets aroused, blood rushes into the tubes, making his penis hard. But what, if like Anakin Skywalker, the erect penis experiences the wrong “force”? Say, if it hits the woman’s perineum? No, that’s not a flower. It’s the area between her anus and vulva. And trust me – it does not smell like a flower. Anyway, if the dude hits the wrong place while thrusting, it can result in pressure overload. The supporting tissue can’t take it, and there’s a rupture. A doctor in a Men’s Health article compares it to “sticking in a pin in a blown up balloon.” (Yeesh.) And what is the most likely sex position, in which this secario could happen? When the woman’s on top.



2. Hair gets in his mouth.

If a woman got long hair, and doesn’t tie it back, it causes a ton of problems. Her hair tickles the guy’s face, making him laugh. Her hair gets in his mouth, grossing him out. Her hair pokes his eyeballs, making him cringe. This is why nobody wants to bone Rapunzel.

3. He’s in a vulnerable position.

When the woman’s on top, she’s in the position of power. She can do whatever she wants, and what if she wants to murder you? What if she wants to rob you? What if she’s crazy? To quote George Carlin, “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” I’m so stupid I thought that quote helped my argument!
4. He can’t see dat ass.

To quote one of America’s greatest poets, Sir Mix-A-Lot: “I like big butts and I cannot lie / You other brothers can’t deny / That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist / And a round thing in your face You get sprung.” If the girl’s on top, the man can’t see her round thing, and he’ll never get sprung! Never!

5. He gets elbowed in the chest.

When the woman’s on top, she might try to get leverage by pushing against the man’s chest. And what if she has bony elbows? The man’s chest will be bruised, and when he goes to the beach and his friends ask what happened, he’ll have to lie and say, “I fell down some stairs.” And what if she pushes his chest with her hands? That’s like CPR, and there’s nothing sexy about CPR. I took a class once. Those CPR dummies were fours at best.
6. It messes up the rhythm.

Since guys are used to being on top, they’re used to setting the pace. They’ve got the rhythm down. It’s like a beautiful song by Beyoncé. But the woman’s not used to being on top. She might not be able to set the pace, and it’ll screw up the rhythm. It will be like Beyoncé’s kids, Blue Ivy, Sir and Umi running around the house banging pots and pans. Not romantic.

7. She wants to grind instead of the old ‘in and out.’

There’s three things all women like: Disney princesses, chocolate ice cream and grinding. If the woman’s on top, she’s just going to want to grind, because it gives her ladyparts clap emojiis. But guys don’t get ecstasy from grinding – they get ecstasy from going in and out. Grinding and in-and-out just don’t mix. It’s like Spider-Man joining the Justice League.

8. He’s going to make a mess on himself.

Here’s the most disgusting physics question ever: If the woman’s on top, and the man finishes, based on their positions, where is the fluid going to go? Consult the laws of spermodynamics, and you’ll find the answer: Right on the man’s stomach, and it might even dribble into his belly button, if he’s an innie. That’s just gross. Meanwhile, when the man’s on the top, the mess just gets on the woman. Everybody wins.

9. His head might slam into the headboard.

If the woman gets too excited while “riding the dragon,” the man’s head might slam into the headboard. That’s no fun. Nobody wants a concussion. What am I, an NFL player?

That’s nine air-tight reasons why the woman should never be on top during sex. Actually, we probably only needed one reason, the penis snapping one. That still gives me nightmares. Anyway, if you want to find out what the most popular sex positions is, check out this article.

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Stay Healthy & Protect Yourself from Cancer

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Health they say is wealth and there are certain habits that can guarantee great health even as you progress in years.
Eight healthy behaviors can go a long way toward improving your health and lowering your risk of many cancers as well as heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and osteoporosis. And they’re not as complicated as you might think.
So take control of your health, and encourage your family to do the same. Choose one or two of the behaviors below to start with. Once you’ve got those down, move on to the others.
1. Maintain a Healthy Weight
Keeping your weight in check is often easier said than done, but a few simple tips can help. First off, if you’re overweight, focus initially on not gaining any more weight. This by itself can improve your health. Then, when you’re ready, try to take off some extra pounds for an even greater health boost. To see where you fall on the weight range, click here.
Tips
  • Integrate physical activity and movement into your life.
  • Eat a diet rich in fruits, vegetables and whole grains.
  • Choose smaller portions and eat more slowly.
For Parents and Grandparents 
  • Limit children’s TV and computer time.
  • Encourage healthy snacking on fruits and vegetables.
  • Encourage activity during free time.
2. Exercise Regularly
Few things are as good for you as regular physical activity. While it can be hard to find the time, it’s important to fit in at least 30 minutes of activity every day. More is even better, but any amount is better than none.
Tips 
  • Choose activities you enjoy. Many things count as exercise, including walking, gardening and dancing.
  • Make exercise a habit by setting aside the same time for it each day. Try going to the gym at lunchtime or taking a walk regularly after dinner.
  • Stay motivated by exercising with someone.
For Parents and Grandparents 
  • Play active games with your kids regularly and go on family walks and bike rides when the weather allows.
  • Encourage children to play outside (when it’s safe) and to take part in organized activities, including soccer, gymnastics and dancing.
  • Walk with your kids to school in the morning. It’s great exercise for everyone.
3. Don’t Smoke
You’ve heard it before: If you smoke, quitting is absolutely the best thing you can do for your health. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s also far from impossible. More than 1,000 Americans stop for good every day.
Tips 
  • Keep trying! It often takes six or seven tries before you quit for good.
  • Talk to a health-care provider for help.
  • Join a quit-smoking program. Your workplace or health plan may offer one.
For Parents and Grandparents
  • Try to quit as soon as possible. If you smoke, your children will be more likely to smoke.
  • Don’t smoke in the house or car. If kids breathe in your smoke, they may have a higher risk of breathing problems and lung cancer.
  • When appropriate, talk to your kids about the dangers of smoking and chewing tobacco. A health-care professional or school counselor can help.
4. Eat a Healthy Diet
Despite confusing news reports, the basics of healthy eating are actually quite straightforward. You should focus on fruits, vegetables and whole grains and keep red meat to a minimum. It’s also important to cut back on bad fats (saturated and trans fats) and choose healthy fats (polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats) more often. Taking a multivitamin with folate every day is a great nutrition insurance policy.
Tips
  • Make fruits and vegetables a part of every meal. Put fruit on your cereal. Eat vegetables as a snack.
  • Choose chicken, fish or beans instead of red meat.
  • Choose whole-grain cereal, brown rice and whole-wheat bread over their more refined counterparts.
  • Choose dishes made with olive or canola oil, which are high in healthy fats.
  • Cut back on fast food and store-bought snacks (like cookies), which are high in bad fats.
  • Buy a 100 percent RDA multivitamin that contains folate.
5. Drink Alcohol Only in Moderation, If at All
Moderate drinking is good for the heart, as many people already know, but it can also increase the risk of cancer. If you don’t drink, don’t feel that you need to start. If you already drink moderately (less than one drink a day for women, less than two drinks a day for men), there’s probably no reason to stop. People who drink more, though, should cut back.
Tips
  • Choose nonalcoholic beverages at meals and parties.
  • Avoid occasions centered around alcohol.
  • Talk to a health-care professional if you feel you have a problem with alcohol.
For Parents and Grandparents
  • Avoid making alcohol an essential part of family gatherings.
  • When appropriate, discuss the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse with children. A health-care professional or school counselor can help.
6. Protect Yourself from the Sun
While the warm sun is certainly inviting, too much exposure to it can lead to skin cancer, including serious melanoma. Skin damage starts early in childhood, so it’s especially important to protect children.
Tips
  • Steer clear of direct sunlight between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. (peak burning hours). It’s the best way to protect yourself.
  • Wear hats, long-sleeve shirts and sunscreens with SPF15 or higher.
  • Don’t use sun lamps or tanning booths. Try self-tanning creams instead.
For Parents and Grandparents 
  • Buy tinted sunscreen so you can see if you’ve missed any spots on a fidgety child.
  • Set a good example for children by also protecting yourself with clothing, shade and sunscreen.
7. Protect Yourself From Sexually Transmitted Infections
Among other problems, sexually transmitted infections – like human papillomavirus (HPV) – are linked to a number of different cancers. Protecting yourself from these infections can lower your risk.
Tips
  • Aside from not having sex, the best protection is to be in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone who does not have a sexually transmitted infection.
  • For all other situations, be sure to always use a condom and follow other safe-sex practices.
  • Never rely on your partner to have a condom. Always be prepared.
For Parents and Grandparents
  • When appropriate, discuss with children the importance of abstinence and safe sex. A health-care professional or school counselor can help.
  • Vaccinate girls and young women as well as boys and young men against HPV. Talk to a health professional for more information.
8. Get Screening Tests
There are a number of important screening tests that can help protect against cancer. Some of these tests find cancer early when they are most treatable, while others can actually help keep cancer from developing in the first place. For colorectal cancer alone, regular screening could save over 30,000 lives each year. That’s three times the number of people killed by drunk drivers in the United States in all of 2011. Talk to a health care professional about which tests you should have and when.
Cancers that should be tested for regularly:
  • Colon and rectal cancer
  • Breast cancer
  • Cervical cancer
  • Lung cancer (in current or past heavy smokers)

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Health & Lifestyle

Sickle cell may get solution soon – scientists.

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Scientists in the U.S. have unveiled results of a small clinical trial that could mean an effective “cure” for sickle cell anemia, the painful and debilitating disease that inflicts many millions of people across the globe, mostly of African heritage and including some 100,000 African Americans in the U.S.



Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) say they have used gene therapy techniques to add a “corrected” gene for healthy red blood cells into the bodies of nine test patients, replacing their diseased red blood cells caused by sickle cell anemia and effectively ridding them of signs of the disease.

NIH Director Francis Collins described the trial results as seemingly “spectacular”.

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“When you look at their blood counts and their blood smears, it looks like they don’t have it anymore,” Collins said on Monday (March 11) from his office at the NIH in Bethesda, Maryland, just outside Washington, D.C.

Sickle cell disease is an inherited blood disorder that causes protein crystals to form inside red blood cells, changing their shape from a flat disk into a crescent or sickle shape that then clogs up the small blood vessels and results in terrible episodes of pain and organ damage.

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But they believe the basic premise of introducing a corrected gene into the body holds promise for Africa provided a simpler, cheaper and less toxic delivery system than bone marrow transplant and the accompanying chemotherapy can be found.

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