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SIMPLE RULES FOR THOSE WHO WILL BE DRINKING BUT NOT BUYING DURING DECEMBER.

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1. Respect the buyer; Greet the buyer before u sit.
2. Don’t be boring, tell more stories but don’t talk more than the buyer.
3. Always help the buyer with carrying beers from the counter.
4. Dance to any music that the buyer likes.
5. Buyer’s jokes are always funny so laugh out loud.
6. When the buyer fights, fight
7. Wait for the buyer to finish his drink before you open another one, no matter how fast you drink. When the buyer stops drinking, stop too
8. Always drink cheaper drinks than what the buyer drinks (No Heineken for you when I’m drinking castle lite)
9. You drink what the buyer wants you to drink
10. When using a cooler box, you are responsible for breaking the ice block –
11. Any beautiful girls around belong to the buyer.
12. Don’t forget to say “thank you boss”.
🍺🍻🍹🥂🍷🍾🚶🏽🖐

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Bouncers in Uganda demands government recognition with higher salary.

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Bouncers

Bouncers, under their group, The Umbrella for Uganda Bouncers Association (UUBA) want to be recognized by the government as security officers and also be paid a higher salary.
The UUBA administrator, Mr Tonny Ssempijja, yesterday led a group of bouncers to meet the minister of Kampala Beti Kamya so that she can help them access president Museveni.
Speaking to newsmen, before meeting Ms Kamya in a closed door meeting, Mr Ssempijja said that since they are providing security to city dwellers in entertainment places, they are also contributing to the security of the country so they should also be recognized.




“We do security at night in different places like bars, hotels and restaurant therefore we should also be accepted and detained by president Museveni. That way our job is also recognized and regulated accordingly,” Mr Ssempijja said.
They also want to be trained on how to handle people who go to places they guard with guns or while drunk and also enjoy the benefits other security officers are enjoying like a moderate pay and be able to benefit from government’s Operation Wealth Creation.

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“What we are doing is part of security so the government should consider giving us some money since the little money we receive from the owners of those entertainment places is small,” Mr Ssempijja said.
In an interview after the three-hour meeting Ms Kamya said that she was not aware about their group promising to meet them soon with other government officials and security personnel to see how to streamline their job.

“In two weeks’ time, I will lead a delegation of government officials including the Inspector General of Police Mr Martin Okoth Ochola and see how we can streamline your job,” Ms Kamya said.
She also promised to consult the courts of intelligence so that they can also consider taking the bouncers through security training.
UBAA was formed after bouncers felt that their jobs were at stake following the death four musicians, including the late Mowzey Radio, who were reportedly hit in different bars by bouncers.

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-DailyMonitor

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Video: Man experiences male equivalent of child birth on London Underground

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There are rules, there is etiquette and there is consideration for your fellow passenger when on London Underground. And then there are late-night Tube journeys fuelled by alcohol that throw all those unspoken laws out of the window.

Last night one guy was filmed smashing all the rules of the underground as he slid down the panels between the escalators at Moorgate station. And karma paid him an instant visit, smashing him right where it hurts.

He hurtled into a stop button with his balls taking the full brunt of the collision while wearing a football strip.

He grimaces in pain then looks on to the next obstacle, a ‘please stand on the right’ sign. Unable to stop himself, he continues to go down the slide like an out-of-control skier on their way back from the folie douce after a hard day of vin chauding.

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James Gower posted the footage on Twitter, assuring us that they had a ‘top night’ with the off piste ball slapping being ‘the highlight’. Someone who said they witnessed what happened wrote on Reddit: ‘When it happened 2 of his friends literally collapsed laughing on the escalator and the guy who took that fall didn’t get up for a good while. ‘It took the person who you can see almost collide with shout “are you gonna help your mate??” For 2 of them to go help him. He looked in a lot of pain! ‘They had just got into the tube station and were singing football chants in a drunken manner. I assumed they had just come back from a Christmas party cos they were all dressed up like that (and it’s friggin cold outside).

‘Anyway, so they all walk to the escalator all drunken and rowdy and they begin to go down, then this guy, who was by far the drunken of the lot, got onto the middle part and sat like he was going to go down a slide.

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He started liked that but the first “obstacle” that isn’t captured on camera kinda jolted and threw him out of position, then he hit the 2nd and then built up speed and went flying! ‘All his mates were in tears laughing. One (in the yellow) collapsed onto the escalator stairs laughing his ass off and the others were all crying with laughter.

Eventually the guy who he almost collided with at the end of the video was like “are you gonna help your mate??” And then 2 went up to go help him. He was slowly moving but didn’t get up at all. The others remained at the bottom laughing ‘I must admit I was laughing too, but in a suppressed manner haha.’

 

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