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How to Lose Weight Without Excercising

1. Slow your dinner roll

Going all Dyson on your plate is never a good idea. Meals aren’t a race, so slow the heck down. Your brain can’t keep up. Seriously: Eating more slowly has been shown to decrease calorie intake and make people feel full. Talk about a win-win.

So take time to chew. If you’re a habitual speed-eater, counting the number of times you chew each bite can help you get into the habit of pacing your meals.

2. Get in the kitchen

Cooking isn’t just a great way to impress a date. It can also work wonders on your waistline, not to mention your wallet. In fact, people who eat in more often tend to eat healthier and eat less than those who dine out.

It makes sense: When you’re the one behind the stove, you’re in control of what goes on your plate. You don’t have to be a top chef to whip up something tasty, and you can enjoy a restaurant meal from time to time. Just try to eat more meals at home than you do out.

3. Don’t shy away from the scale

While weight is more than just a number, the scale doesn’t lie. Daily weigh-ins have been proven to help people lose weight and keep it off.

That being said, don’t fret over daily fluctuations. Hormones, water retention, or eating too much salt can raise the number from time to time.

If you’re going to weigh yourself every day, aim to do it first thing in the morning before you’ve eaten. Consistency is key to accurately tracking your progress.

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4. Stay honest about snacking

While it’s fine to snack here and there, it can easily get out of hand. If you’re a serial snacker, try announcing your snacks.

It may sound weird, but telling yourself or someone else you’re going to have a snack will make you stop and consider the number of times you nosh every day and what you’re noshing on.

5. Size matters

Portion size isn’t the only size you want to keep an eye on if you’re trying to lose weight. It’s worth noting that over the years, the average dinner plate has increased in size, and so has the average person’s weight.

This isn’t a coincidence. In fact, eating off smaller plates can trick your brain into thinking you’re eating more than you actually are, which can be especially helpful with desserts and less healthy foods.

6. Just say “no” to fad diets

While some fad diets may have impressive results in the short term, they’re notoriously difficult and sometimes dangerous to maintain. And for what it’s worth, they make the least interesting conversation topics — no one wants to hear about your juice cleanse.

You’re much better off applying simple (and sane) everyday changes to the way you eat for long-term success.

7. Pack on the protein

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Protein-rich foods aren’t just delicious, they also have a potent effect on keeping the hangries at bay and curbing your overall appetite. That’s partly because protein affects certain key hunger and fullness hormones like GLP-1 and ghrelin.

Some research has found that eating protein in the morning can be especially helpful when it comes to managing your appetite throughout the day, so try swapping your oatmeal for eggs.

8. Make friends with fiber

In short, fiber keeps you feeling full. And for weight loss, one type reigns supreme: viscous fiber. When it comes in contact with water, this magical stuff forms a gel that slows down stomach emptying and gives your body more time to absorb nutrients.

Viscous fiber is found in plant foods only. Try adding some more of this rock-star fiber to your diet with foods like brussels sprouts, oranges, beans, flaxseeds, and asparagus.

9. Go pro… biotic

Not all bacteria are created equal, especially in your gut. Researchers are just beginning to understand the role of microbiota (gut bacteria) in weight and metabolism function, but some recent research links obesity with an imbalance of certain bacterial strains.

While taking a probiotic is no silver bullet for weight loss, it certainly can’t hurt. Plus, probiotics can boost your overall health and immunity. You can try taking a probiotic supplement or eating fermented foods like yogurt and miso.

10. Out of sight, out of stomach

The three rules of real estate also apply to losing weight: location, location, location. Keeping unhealthy foods out of sight also keeps them out of your mouth.

In one study, people who lived in households that kept high calorie foods visible were more likely to weigh more than those who lived in homes where only a bowl of fruit was on display. So, clean house and hide your treats!

11. Sleep more

Adequate sleep is essential to weight loss (and for lots of other reasons!).

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Failing to get your beauty rest can do a number on appetite-regulating hormones like leptin and ghrelin. Fluctuations in these hormones can make you hungry and make you crave unhealthy foods — all the more reason to hit snooze.

12. Keep calm and slim on

Finding your bliss can also help you find your goal weight. Like lack of sleep, chronic stress can throw a wrench in your hormonal balance. Plus, many of us tend to cope with stress by eating comfort food that’s probably not the healthiest.

Yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises are all simple and reliable ways to help keep your stress levels in check.

13. You’ve got 99 problems, but hydration ain’t one

It goes without saying that water should be your beverage of choice even if you’re not trying to lose weight. But water can work wonders on your waistline, especially if you drink some before chowing down.

Research has shown that downing two glasses of water 30 minutes before a meal can reduce hunger and overall calorie intake.

14. Downsize your portions

The harsh truth is that portion sizes aren’t what they used to be. They’re MUCH bigger, especially in restaurants.

Putting more on your plate can lead to overeating and weight gain, but that doesn’t mean you have to starve. Just be mindful and serve yourself a bit less than you would normally. You won’t miss the extra calories.

15. Eyes on your plate

As tempting as it might be to binge-watch your favorite show while going to town on your favorite meal, it’s best to minimize distractions while eating if you’re trying to lose weight.

If you’re not mindful of what’s going into your mouth, you’re much more likely to overeat. One study found that people consumed 10 percent more if they were distracted during their meals.

If you regularly use social media or watch TV while eating, try to go screen-free.

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16. Soak up some vitamin D

The link between vitamin D and weight loss isn’t crystal clear, but folks in larger bodies tend to have lower levels of vitamin D in their blood. Even more interestingly, people who lose weight tend to experience an increase in vitamin D.

Some research suggests that supplementing with vitamin D can aid weight loss and fat burning. Whether you take a supplement, catch some sun, or eat vitamin D-rich foods, this vitamin comes with the added benefits of stronger bones and increased immunity.

17. Kick soda to the curb

Sugary beverages and soda are nutritionally useless and calorie-dense. These things should be the first thing to go if you’re looking to lose some weight. Try replacing these drinks with water.

18. See red

Odd as it may seem, some research has found that eating food off red plates can help people eat less. This color bias may be due to the fact that many warning and stop signals are red. Whatever the reason, it’s worth a try, especially when eating less-healthy foods.

19. Eat mindfully

Too often we eat with everything but our stomachs. We eat with our eyes and sometimes our emotions. As a result, we don’t always stop when we’re satisfied but rather when we’re borderline exploding.

Practicing mindful eating means staying present at meals and snacks and listening to your body’s internal cues and cravings. The next time you sit down to eat, slow down and really pay attention to how you feel throughout your meal.

20. Keep it in the family

Shared family meals have be found to encourage healthy eating habits that influence long-term nutritional health.

That being said, there are all kinds of families, and certain familial situations are anything but healthy. With those variables in mind, eating in good company is always a good idea.

21. Get those good fats

Healthy fats are your friend when you’re trying to lose weight. Unsaturated fats (found in fish, nuts, avocados, and olive oil) and even some saturated fats (like those in butter and coconut) keep you feeling full longer and help you absorb certain vitamins.

That doesn’t mean you should go ham on fats, but you definitely shouldn’t avoid them. The only fats you should really steer clear of, whether you want to lose weight or not, are chemically processed trans fats.

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22. Preparation is key

Preparing your meals in advance, at least partially, can help streamline your cooking process and your waistline. Let’s face it: Life and work come at you fast, and you don’t always have the time or energy to shop for and cook a meal from scratch.

Instead, try to get to the grocery store once or twice a week and prepare parts of your meals in advance, like cooking several portions of rice or grilling a few pieces of chicken. That way you can grab, go, and reheat as needed.

No gym, no problem

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HOW TO

Types of Infidelity and how to protect yourself

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Today we’ll be talking about a topic “Understanding affair types and Learning How to Protect Yourself”.

Having observed many couples and individuals struggle with affairs, the identification of the reason an affair happened and the type of affair your partner may be embroiled in is usually one of the major determinants that show if you or your partner will survive the aftermath of an affair.

I have seen many individuals going through a rough period in their marriages yet affairs were the furthest thing on their mind. However, for many others, having affairs was their way of coping with the kink in their relationship. The point I’m simply trying to bring out is this;

“People have affairs and blame it on the fact that a need wasn’t met in their marriage. This is wrong because affairs are choices (sometimes unconscious) based on life-long patterns”.      – Temple Obike, LMFT.

 

The advancements in the field of psychology are helping us understand the various affair types and how to identify them. The points below are condensed identifications of the various affair types. If you can understand why you cheated or were cheated on, you might just be able to save our relationship.

Types of Infidelity and how to protect yourself

 

AFFAIR TYPES:

Affair Type 1 – Accidental Affair

This affair type is usually the one that blind-sides you. Your partner (or you) are on a business trip, at the office or just going along your merry way. You ventured into somewhere or find yourself in a situation that stirs up some emotional longings that generates erotic heat between you and someone. This is something that usually occurs when an individual decides to give themselves a relaxed time. That massage, catching a few drinks or being somewhere where no one knows you.

This sometimes occurs with someone known but most times it occurs with strangers. It is usually stirred by drinks or the use of recreational drugs. It’s not pre-planned or pre-meditated, has no emotional investment and has a very good chance of recovery.

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Advice: If you find yourself in locations that afford you a measure of anonymity, set up extra layers of boundaries such as getting drinks back to your hotel room rather than drinking in open spaces or simply enjoy video calls with your significant other at times when you personally know you’re succeptible to loneliness or boredom. These video calls can have an unwritten rule that says “whoever falls asleep first can turn off the video”. This is a personal favorite for me as a traveling therapist because it’s a rule that’s been saving my marriage since 1602.

Affair Type 2 – The Avoidance Affairs

This affair type is the majority of what we have out there. You know you are embroiled in this when you find out you’re constantly using these terms. “we don’t have sex always”, “We argue all the time” etc.

This affair type is with people who are generally nice. So nice that they will never have any conflict with you. It’s usually very predictable, lacks structure and most importantly gives you that feeling of being able to be your real self with the affair partner. If growing up you have faced issues such as neglect, shame, abandonment or interfaced with people who are toxic, it may turn you into someone who seeks out or enables this affair type.

Advice: The moment you begin feeling very free with someone of the opposite gender or believe they seem to understand you better than your partner or spouse, It’s the tipping point. Especially if you are married or in a committed relationship. Set up extra boundaries for yourself such as not being alone with the person or simply telling your partner about this person so you have an accountability partner

Affair Type 3 – Philanderer Affair

This is the consummate womanizer whose escapades has nothing to do with their partner. Their affairs look like conquests and have no emotional attachment. They regularly switch partners, have a sexist approach to gender discussions, they lie, they’re insecure and enjoy the concept of seduction. The key determining factor for this type of affair is that when they get caught, they do not feel humiliated but instead are pained by the new power their spouse has with the discovery of the affair.

 

Gay men, lesbians, heterosexuals etc. can all be philanderers. Their sexuality is fueled by ANGER and FEAR. This broad description pretty much points to the fact that everyone can be a victim of this affair type.

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Advice: This affair type is purely voluntary and anyone involved in this needs to first make a deciscion to change, understand the origins of this behavior and then seek out help.

 

Available on Podcast:

 

Affair Type 4 – Entitlement Affairs

This affair type is usually long-term and the partner who strays most times has a measure of success. They are powerful, celebrities, charming and accomplished. It usually occurs in relationships where both partners are accomplished and professionals. When two partners begin to live separate lives, entitlement affairs are not far away.

The 3rd party affair partner is usually attracted to the aura and power of the straying partner and they most times have more things in common with the straying partner than their spouse does. These are the affairs that leave the straying partner feeling like their hard work and peak performing life entitles them to the perks and associated affairs it brings. Most narcissists will have entitlement affairs in their lifetime. These type are usually in a marriage triangle where they do not want to be married but also don’t want to be divorced. They sometimes are not very much into sex and marriage with its conjugal commitments becomes an issue for them.

 

Advice: When you feel you deserve an affair owing to status, the first step is to again understand that this is a highly narcistic trait that stems from an insecurity. This level of understanding introduces the willingness to seek out the help you desire.

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Affair Type 5 – The Split Self Affair

This affair type signals the marriage has very serious problems because the marriage issues aren’t usually the reason the affair happens but instead there is something stopping the cheating spouse from even beginning to work on the marriage. These types usually have affairs with people who give them a lot more than sex but instead provide validation, makes them feel special and needed. Individuals who have these types of affair have a 50% chance of either exiting their marriage or fixing their marriage.

These affairs begin from places of great value. It begins from religious congregations, the office, school, with people paid to exchange value (nannies, prostitutes, personal assistants etc). If your spouses affair partner is a man/woman who is younger than them, a man/woman with a challenging childhood or someone who works under your partner then it’s beyond sex but a need for something that isn’t present in the marriage. Reverse engineering these points is one of the therapists best shots at saving the marriage.

Advice: When you begin to develop feelings for someone who reports to or works for you, that isn’t a bad thing if you aren’t in a relationship or married. However if any of the mentioned scenarios are existing, this signals that your relationship is undergoing a tumultuous period. My advice is that you go back and work on your relationship or seek out help from a therapist or marriage counselor.

Type 6: The Exit Affair

There are many marriages where one of the partners is ready to leave the marriage but are waiting for that one reason to finally make the move. You know this affair types when the marriage being understudied has built up so much resentment over the years, the partners are not willing to to meet each others needs and they got to a numb point where they erroneously believed that no quarrels meant all was well.

 

You can recognize this affair type when the children are now leaving home, active service/retirement from work is initiated or the end of a career has begun. In recent times, I also noticed that partners were secretly gay usually use this period to leave their marriage as they feel their life is almost at it’s twilight and they have just a few years to be truly themselves.

 

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Advice: This is usually one of the most difficult affairs to get back from because clients who are usually at this point may have already decided to move on from their relationship. The affair was simply their motivation or reason for doing this. Therapy can help but like i mentioned, its usually a 50:50.

 

Type 7: The Sex Addict Affair

This is an affair type that emanates from a serious problem where there’s a pattern of risky sexual behavior even if you can see the negative effects it’s having on your life. I will like to spend a little time on this affair type because many are in denial of the hold this affair type has on them.

Like any other addictions, even when you genuinely want to change you still discover that you cannot change. I have quietly watched people argue on the topic ” sex cant be as addictive as alcohol and substance abuse” and their arguments are based on the fact that there are no chemicals being introduced into the body as found in the cases of alcohol or drug addiction.

Unfortunately with sex addiction, it’s far worse because the body produces many hormones and neurotransmitters during sex that produces the same high a drug addict gets. This is the reason most other addictions will always lead to risky sexual behaviour or full-blown sex. Sex addicts are usually individuals who were abused, neglected or have a history of addiction somewhere in their family line. The shame and denial associated with sexual behavior has sometimes tightened the grasp of this addiction on those affected by it.

Individuals battling with sex addiction themed affairs are compulsive masturbators, watch porn, engage in risky sexual behaviour, have multiple sexual partners, frequent massage parlors(with happy endings 🙂) and keep loads of sexual paraphernalia that gives them more intense ways to explore/feed into this addiction.

What causes sexual addiction?

At the core of sex addiction lies tainted family history and associated shame, that mismanaged fear of intimacy and anger. Incest, avoidance of sex education, double-standards, sexual secrets, or sexual acting out by a parent (such as affairs or pornography use) are also other reasons an addiction to sex takes root.

Due to the shame and fear I mentioned earlier, an individual addicted to sex will not seek out help but would rather initiate the dual life fueled by addiction. This speedily onboards other addictive behaviours making the victim feel trapped and hopeless.

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How You Know This May Be Your Battle

1. You have had a pattern of extramarital affairs that were purely sexual in nature.

2. You can see your marriage going to ruins, you want to save it but the inner motivation to do this isn’t there.

3. You thought that getting married was going to help you solve this problem but instead you discovered that you only stopped for a while and the urge came back a few months after marriage. ( note: I have spoken to former sex workers, play boys, escorts who believed that marriage was the antidote only to discover that they had absolutely no control over the habit. If any of the descriptions I used applies to you, opt for therapy and refuse the urge to dose pain with drug use)

4. You tried to stop, succeeded for a whole but somehow its begun again.


Below are a few questions that will help you know if you’re battling with sex addiction. If 3 to 4 of the points seem familiar, you can try and talk to a professional who could help you better understand where you are with this concern being discussed. There is no shame in it.

The following questions below may assist you in identifying possible signs of sex addiction.

1 Have you ever tried to stop a particular sexual behaviour?

2 Is your sexual behaviour making you compromise some good personal values you have?

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3 Does sexual or erotic desires/ thoughts preoccupy your mind at productive times of day?

4 Does your sexual behaviour make you feel bad?

5 Do you neglect important aspects of your life due to a particular sexual behaviour i.e job, family, friends or leisure activities.

6 Do you use erotic, romantic or sexual fantasies as an escape from your problems?

7 Have you ever or recently used the internet for erotic or sexual purposes?

8 Does your sexual behavior cause constant friction into your life?

9 Have you ever participated in sexual activity in exchange for money or gifts?

If you answered YES to three or more of the above questions you may have a problem with sex addiction.

Advice: Simply get help because an addiction to sex is a serious concern that has the ability to damage the individual, their health and their relationship. Get across to a therapist near you, sign a client confidentiality form and enroll for a recovery programme.

This is where I’d love to conclude today’s discussion. I believe we’ve been able to clearly distinguish between the various affair types and hopefully know that there is no shame in seeking help if you are having an affair. Don’t wait until you are caught to get help.

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Written by Temple Obike

A licensed marriage and family therapist, speaker and psychotherapist who has counseled over six hundred clients comprising couples, indikviduals, substance, sexual or physical abuse victims and grief-stricken clients. He runs his private travel psychotherapy & counseling practice in Lagos, Abuja and Port-Harcourt providing mental health solutions.

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