The Hero Complex, sometimes called the Hero Syndrome or Savior Complex, is when someone strives to be the hero of the situation. No matter the situation or the odds, they want to be the ones that save the day. In some definitions, a person with a hero complex will even create situations that inconvenience or harm others, just so they can take credit for fixing it later.

Is the Hero Complex a mental disorder?

No. While the Hero Complex is mainly a psychological phenomenon, it is not a diagnosable disorder or a clinical term. However, the reported symptoms of the Hero Complex (such as an exaggerated sense of self-worth), is similar to a grandiose delusion, also known as delusions of grandeur. Patients of GD consider themselves famous, wealthy, and powerful, sometimes even referring to themselves in divine terms.

The Hero Syndrome in the Workplace

Many believe that Hero Syndrome is commonly found in people with civil service jobs: police, firemen, and doctors. But the truth is that Hero Syndrome will be found just about anywhere with an office. You may work for them, or they may work for you. In fact, you may even have a Hero Complex!

Although it may seem negative, the Hero Complex is not necessarily a cause for concern. Some people simply want more recognition than others, which is common in an individualistic and capitalist culture. However, there are cases when Hero Complex could result in some dangerous situations.

The Dangers of the Hero Complex

Bitter and hostile environments – As you can imagine, having one person consistently boast about their achievements and abilities can grow old pretty quickly. In teams that require communication and teamwork, the one with Hero Complex may annoy and alienate his teammates.

An illusion of productivity – People with hero complexes may have an inflated sense of their heroism. Although they may remember saving the project before a deadline, other team members may remember them as the source for the delays in the first place.

Arrogance clouding judgment – Those concerned about their self-worth may prioritize their ego over their peers. The result- a focus on vanity metrics and titles over actual work. For example, a doctor may be so focused on getting a promotion that they may neglect their managerial duties in the hospital.

How to Identify the Hero Complex

Remember, the Hero Complex is not a diagnosable condition, so there’s no surefire way of knowing whether someone “has” the complex. But there are signs that may suggest a person is more likely to have the Hero Complex.

Showboating. People with Hero Complex like recognition- for their work, their clothes, their lifestyle.
Preaching or saving. Some people call it the Savior Complex because of their need to rescue those in need. They may be too quick to give advice or care more about the photo op at a charity event.

Narcissism. While showing off and helping others isn’t exactly a crime, it becomes questionable when the person is vain or self-centered. Narcissism is one of the telltale signs for a Hero Complex.

How to deal with the hero complex

Once again, not everyone with a hero complex will stir trouble. It’s perfectly acceptable if anybody is self-centered or boastful. Only when it begins to affect the work of the business do you need to consider your options.

If you suspect someone of having a disruptive hero complex, first assess why you came to that conclusion- is their behavior affecting the rest of the team’s mood? Does it result in less than acceptable work?

Talk to the person, or if you have an HR department, have someone mediate the conversation first. Let them know that while strong personalities are welcome, it should never make others feel miserable or less productive.

I want us to talk about teenage marijuana use and how to keep your children safe in a world that normalizes it’s use. Schools are on holidays and children are home. Many observant parents use this period in discovering unsettling truths about their teenagers from drugs, sexual activity or cultism (yes, even for the secondary school students). The cases around teenage marijuana use has become unsettling and seeing the level of desensitization around this topic does not help either.

Firstly, don’t get me started on the medicinal uses of Marijuana because we have researched, released publications and spoken on this as well. Today we will be focusing on our adolescents and teenagers. After all, I believe that even a parent who uses marijuana for whatever reason deep down does not want their child dependent on it.

It goes by many names Marijuana, Mary-J, weed, pot, dope, grass. They’re all different names for the same drug that comes from the cannabis plant. Smoke it, vape it, drink it or eat it, weed is still weed. Many now use it for relaxation or pleasure thereby desensitizing the society on it’s harmful side-effects. Drug Abuse in teenagers is a growing concern. The only way to even begin to prevent this occurrence is by having candid conversations around the topic with your ward.

Connecting with a teenager or adolescent during their formative years is important but many parents and guardians struggle to achieve this only after the emergence of a deadly habit. – Temple  Obike

Connecting with your kids and making them free to have all kinds of conversations with you is a sure-fire way of reducing their chances of involvement with drugs or making mistakes. This activity must be carried out even up until their university days and we’ll into their adult life anytime the chance avails itself. An effort must be put into understanding their social and extracurricular events. This level of monitoring (it may not sound nice but it is beneficial in the long-run) can wield a measure of influence on the child positively.

WAYS TO STOP TEENAGERS FROM USING MARIJUANA

Build-up Their Self-confidence

As a dad of 3 amazing adolescents and 1 newbie teenager, i believed that the first step was for me to even get this children to become confident. I wouldn’t always be there but i could leave a mind-set that allows them make certain decisions based on what they know and not what someone thinks of them or asked them to do. This is one of the main reasons individuals get into drug use due to peer pressure.

The your teenage always ensure that you do the following;

• Engage in conversations about topics of interest.
• Show them failure is not final and let them watch you recover from mistakes.
• Encourage decision-making on their part
• Listen when they voice their opinions.
• Support team activities for them.
• Exemplify “healthy” giving and reception of compliments
• Always praise efforts but don’t celebrate mediocrity.
• Demonstrate positive self-talk for them

With these, you are well on your way to having kids who are very confident.

Have Regular Conversations With Them

Having a fairly regular conversation around “taboo topics” with your adolescents is going to be one of your biggest strategies in ensuring that they do not use marijuana or any other drug. Tell them about various strains, it’s medicinal use and the adverse side effects of using it.

Marijuana is the most commonly used illicit drug and more than 39% of  it’s users started before Senior Secondary 1 class.

Any question from your kid that gives you the opportunity to delve into the adverse effects of drugs MUST be taken.

Discuss it’s Adverse Effects & Risks

The media has desensitized the populace especially children, adolescents and teenagers on the adverse effects of drug use. With different countries legalizing marijuana, many teens assume it is safe.

The celebrities and influencers haven’t also helped in passing this message across because it is mostly “glorified” in white light as something relied upon for depth and inspiration. Marijuana like other substances such as coffee, alcohol, steroids, cigarettes’ etc. is always going to be dangerous if used recreationally. Legal does not always mean safe. This is the mantra you must entrench in their minds because that’s the angle peer pressure will mostly be introduced from.

Marijuana will alter your sense of judgement, predispose you to risky sexual activity, affect your motor coordination, induce psychosis and amplify paranoia. Take it as both a professional and experiential advice from someone who was once a youth and faced peer pressure on a local and international scale.

– Temple Obike

It’s A Plant So Can’t Do No Harm (That’s not True)

This is one of the points that would be raised by their friends or others trying to lure them into this lane. Make your teenager understand that the fact marijuana is a plant does not make it safe. There are many dangerous plants used for medicinal purposes.

Some ingredients in cannabis are very psychoactive (mind-altering), but others are not. The processing and growth  factors relied upon by the manufacturer/farmer is what determines how potent or balanced the plant is. It is therefore not farfetched to believe that a local street dealer would go for the finest strain. This is the reason you have it come with menacing street names such as Igbo! Kpoli ! Kush! Deaf! Eja! Pot! Weed! Ganja! Hemp! Dope! Grass! Reefer! Ewe! Oja! Wee-Wee! (Feel free to expand).

Know Who Their Friends Are

This is one of the most important things you could do for your child. Do not stop at the image their friends sell to you. Get to know their parents, their home set-up, value systems etc.  Make your home open for friends to come visit (all genders). Watch the dynamics of their relationship. Does your teenager suddenly forget everything you taught them, act mean to their siblings, lose themselves, become less confident in the presence of this friend? Sorry to sound overbearing and while i believe that you can only do what you can do, I also know that with kids, your opportunities for impact dwindle as they get older.

It’s becoming a bit too frequent in my practice to see clients sit down and surprisingly bash a parent who was too nice. The one who allowed them get away with everything suddenly becomes the enemy.

After you have noticed everything you need to know about their friends, you can then suggest (not enforce) who you believe is a good option for them. This is one of the true tests of how highly they trust your input. Teach them that the real qualities to look out for when choosing a friend are loyalty, respect, honesty and integrity. Personally, I love all these qualities but won’t pretend that a kid who loves God automatically fits into our household. A good friend could support your kid at a time when they need someone else to be strong for them and this is why you must be sure of who they mix up with.

Rules, Limits and discipline are a Must

Many parents who raised kids who are now in my current age bracket made loads of mistakes. However these mistakes are things most of these children can look back at now and laugh about. In contrast, it beats me on how a generation who is obviously informed, read, exposed and more suddenly threw away one of the most important things that made them the people they are becoming today. Rules and Limits.

A walk through the mall and you see a kid punching a parent for denying them an opportunity to have candy. In a desperate attempt at conviction you suddenly then hear the parent shouting in the best accent money can buy on the kid. In a bid to maybe convince everyone around on the level of effort they put in at home. The real issue is that the first lesson was lost. You do not take unless mama or papa gives their permission. Those are rules and limits. It comes first. – Temple Obike

As much as i will never be caught trying to give my “not-sought-for” opinion on how another parent should raise their kids, it’s heart-breaking seeing kids being praised for mediocre achievement. Kids not getting spanked a little for bad behavior because it’s no longer cool. Wow! We think the world is filled with narcissists’ but it’s painful seeing spouses who claim their partners are narcissists raising the next super-generation of narcissists. Parents, rules, limits and discipline when necessary are still a MUST.

Here are some rules that could help you ensure that you’re not to out of the joint with your teenagers development;

• Let’s create a code that once you say it, I will know you are in danger and need me to help you exit somewhere e.g Calling me and saying  “Daddy, are we still going? Ok i am ready”
• Do not allow friends come to the house if i or your mum are not home (this helps with curbing sexual abuse too).
• A no uncles/aunties home once the kids hit ages 5 and above (sad as it sounds but that’s the reality of the times)
• We need at least 48 hours to allow sleep-overs. This allows me talk to the other parents and check out the situation before giving my consent. (personally, my kids do not sleep in no-ones house until they are of age).
• If you go out, your location must be activated and your Life360app must be active
• If there will be no parent at the party, you are not going
• Memorize your parents phone numbers and recite it before going out.
• Always give me the address of ANYWHERE you will be going to.
• Whatever movies/shows you watch MUST be run through mum and dad
• Whatever songs you listen to MUST be age-appropriate and because it’s trending or known by everyone else in school still does NOT make it okay.

Enlist for Drug Prevention Programs

Getting involved in drug abuse prevention programs in your community or your child’s school is a key step to curbing this menace. Most of these programmes will randomly test participants on a monthly basis and this keeps teens accountable. Even when under pressure by peers, they would most likely not indulge because they do not want to fail random drug tests.

Workplace extramarital office affairs are more rampant than we think. In a work environment, sharing accomplishments, risk and intensity can open up new levels of intimacy between colleagues. The long hours put in at the office in close proximity with that colleague does not help either. If these situations aren’t handled properly it could trigger the budding of a work-place affair.

Office Extramarital Affair Facts You Should Know…

After understudying workplace affairs for a period, a pattern began to emerge. Facts that I believe everyone currently involved in or romanticizing with the idea of kicking off an office affair should know.

• 39% of workers had relationships in the office at least once
• 35% have kept office affairs hidden and tried to sort it out even though they knew it affected their work
• 24% are attracted to someone of the opposite sex who had similar jobs
• Office Affairs were most common  in the following sectors: Banking & Finance, Hospitality & Leisure, Information Technology, Healthcare, Media/Entertainment and Business Service

Only about 17% of these affairs end in marriage. The other 83% ends in personal, marital and professional problems with far reaching consequences that would be discussed in the real world by ex-colleagues many years later (when they see you). The decision to either continue with or end an extramarital office affair is something I totally leave up to you. However this article is for the latter group. The hardest part about having a workplace affair is seeing each other after you have decided to end things with an affair partner. However its not a totally lost cause because there are basic steps you could take to begin correcting this mess.

After being blessed enough to sit with individuals going through the issues associated with an office affair, i am going to give you the quickest way to end an office affair and MAYBE still get to keep your job.