Julia Vins who is known as “Muscle Barbie” is a weightlifter who started bodybuilding when she was just 15 years old. She started going to the gym because she wanted to be more confident in her life and also to improve her fitness level. It was back then when the coach noticed her power and determined that she could become a weightlifter.
1. Julia Vins was born in Engels, Russia on May 21st, 1996.
Julia’s Dad was an alcoholic, which became the reason for her parent’s divorce. Because of which she had to go through a lot of mental pressure.
2. Julia always aimed to go to law school
Julia was very much dedicated to her studies and always aimed to go to law school. She also mentioned, since she was in school she used to get a lot of free time, where she used to manage her gym time as well.
3. She is famous by her nickname “Muscle Barbie”
Due to her attractive appearance, but massive size.
3. She is dedicated to the gym
Julia stated that the place, where she stayed, was not very familiar with fitness, so she had to travel by bus for an hour to get to the gym. Moreover, she was the only girl in the entire gym but nothing stopped her dedication and will to stop going to the gym.
4. Julia was awarded the World Champion
Julia’s strong determination and hard work helped her in achieving various awards in Junior Powerlifting across Russia and now she is a two time World Champion at a World Powerlifting Congress and is known to break several records in the competition.
5. She can lift quite heavyweights
Julia weighs 65 kgs, she has a personal record which includes 175kg Bench Press, 275kg squat, and 205 kg deadlift.
6. Julia’s training and diets
Julia trains four to five times a week and follows a strict healthy diet which includes eggs, vegetables, fish, beans, oats rice and buckwheat pasta like her staple foods.
7. Julia’s motivation
She says people commenting on her physique is something very much expected in the stereotype world where people think women are born only for cooking, cleaning and raising children. But she keeps herself motivated and ignores everything which creates a hurdle in her journey.
8. She is in a relationship for 8 years now
Julia is in a long term relationship with her Russian boyfriend, Sergei, who also likes to weight lift with her. Though she keeps getting DMs from her admirers she thinks it is better to not respond to all of it to keep her relationship happy and going.
Below are some photos of Julia Vins who has a face of a “Barbie doll” and body like “The Incredible Hulk”
Grief and Loss, How to Cope with Them
Losing anything of value is never easy. Coping with grief and loss must be done your right way. Sadly, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Regardless of the type of loss you are faced with, the only thing required is that you understand the stages of grief and where you currently are on them. This understanding will provide you with healthier coping options.
WHAT DOES GRIEF MEAN?
When you lose something of great importance, your natural emotional and painful response to it is grief. Sometimes it comes with various reactions such as guilt, disbelief, deep sadness, health disruption, insomnia, inability to eat amongst so many things. Everything i mentioned here is normal when you are faced with grief. Your grief could come as a result of losing your health, a job, a relationship, a loved one, a miscarriage, a career dream, a friendship, a safety net after infidelity or even moving homes amongst many other reasons.
I see many couples and individuals sit across me and narrate their experiences with grief. Despite the many responses to grief, one thing that you cannot take away is that the intensity of your grief is always directly proportional to the significance of your loss.
Due to the personal nature of loss, i do not expect you to grieve like any other person. This means that there is no shame with how you decide to grieve. The only thing i want you to understand is that there are stages to grieving and you must understand what stage you are in to enable yourself transition from that stage, get a new perspective on the matter and then begin to move on from the heaviness you feel.
The Sad Honest Truth About Grief
Be it the loss of a parent, child, partner, spouse, relative, friend or colleague at work, It’s all pain and you may not ever get over this loss. However, time is what truly does the magic for you because your sorrow eases, you face the loss and then gradually begin to move on from that point.
Now that you understand how unique grieving is to every individual, you must also know that what separates everyone in grief are their beliefs, their faith, previous experiences with grieving, their coping styles and lastly their personality. Do not expect to recover immediately with actual loss of a loved one, or try to heal after replacing the job, house or opportunity you lost with a new one. It takes time. While some start to feel better in weeks and months, the measurement for others grieving is usually in years.
THE PROPER WAY TO GRIEVE
You must understand somethings about grief as this gives you an edge;
A) IF you feel pain, do not pretend it does not exists simply because you want to appear strong. This act will keep you trapped in one stage of grief longer than expected. Weakness or Strength are not the consideration at this point. Pain is.
B) Do not try to grieve the way you have seen a sibling, spouse, parent or someone else go about it. That is their own way. Trying to emulate them in this regard may not work for you and could end up doing more damage than good.
C) It’s not time to be alone with yourself and misery. Get the support of your loved ones and others who truly care about your well-being. Staying alone is not the solution to numbing the pain.
D) The feeling of grief will make you laugh, cry, smile, talk to yourself and so on. In extreme cases, clients have mentioned that grief made them romanticize with thoughts around death and suicide. Especially for individuals who lost a spouse.
E) Your emotions are not stable when you are grieving. This is what grief does to you. Forcing yourself to stabilize your emotions is not the key. Recognizing the emotions you feel is the real solution.
Available on Podcast:
Learning about the 5 stages of grief
Denial: This is the phase where an individual hasn’t yet come to terms with what has happened. The associated shock or emotional overwhelm dissociates the victim in such a way that the circumstances look like an unfolding movie plot with them as spectators.
Anger: At this point, a realization dawns on the individual. This comes with an intense anger that has the individual lashing out angrily and questioning a lot of things.
Bargaining: The need to have this happen to distance oneself from the flurry of negative emotions suddenly triggers an emotion that wants to pass on the grief to some other person, place etc. With this comes a negotiation where depending on the spiritual beliefs of the individual sees them bargaining , going on a spiritual deep dive all in a bid to reverse the situation.
Depression: This is a phase characterized by intense sadness that comes once you start to understand the situation isn’t particularly going anywhere or changing.
Acceptance: After healthily negotiating the first phases of grief, the individual now understands that the situation truly occurred. At this point, you come to terms with the pain and truly start to own the emotions you are feeling. It is from this stage that healing starts.
Despite the fact that I have listed these phases, it would be important to note that not everyone navigates grief by following these exact steps. Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist who first intimated us with these stages of grief never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework applicable to anyone mourning. I have seen clients who went straight to acceptance from the denial stage and just when everybody else affected was struggling with denial, these individuals were already available to assist their spouse, partner, siblings or friends with their own grief.
Grieving and loss is a bespoke experience for everyone. The circumstances may be similar but the effect on the mourner is unique. Hence for younger therapists, there is a need to make clients identify what stage they currently find themselves in. As important as this is, it is better to allow them speak first, tell a story, relive their experiences with the deceased and as you listen with your ears and observe with your entire being, you are bound to start discovering for yourself, where exactly they are with the grieving process (even if it doesn’t quite tally with any of the stages.
I truly hope this piece throws a lot more clarity on your current struggles with navigating loss. We are here to support you through your loss and believe that your complete healing is not too far away.
Trauma Bonding, Relationships Built on Control & Abuse
Trauma Bonding, An Abusive Relationship in a Loop is a conversation long overdue for most relationships today. Have you ever seen two people who you knew had absolutely no reason to be together? One person was constantly abusing the other and the other person was just too weak to simply do anything. That is what you call a trauma bond. A relationship where an abusive partner uses emotional and psychologically manipulative means to gain full control of their partner or target as we could refer to them.
What Pre-disposes you to a Trauma Bonding?
There are always a group of people who are a natural attraction for abusive partners. This attraction sometimes occurs with a level of intentionality but sometimes naturally. In therapy, there are situations where a seemingly quiet half gets a strong, self-motivated, educated and confident partner who they fully break down over a timeframe and establish dominance over.
Who Is More Susceptible to Trauma Bonding?
People with relational and emotional trauma are typically targeted by perpetrators in a trauma bond, intentionally or otherwise. It can be common for abusers to seek out strong, driven, educated, and independent thinkers so that they can make themselves feel superior when they finally break them down. People with any or a combination of the scenarios depicted below are more likely to be found in a trauma bond.
A) You get mauled by separation anxiety
B) You have an unhealthy attachment style
C) You have a history of childhood or relationship abuse
D) You are overtly dependent on your partner or spouse
E) You are intensely affected by rejection
F) You are suffering from anxiety, BPD or depression
When you are being abused but you struggle to break free, it’s time you made that call to any therapist near you. The earlier you seek out help, the lesser damage
you will get to experience. A full recovery is not an easy road but starting out on the recovery path is the first step.
Available on Podcast:
For clients who have been helped to exit trauma bound relationships, the first thing they usually notice in hindsight is the pattern their abusive relationship always took. Here are the 7 stages a trauma bond must negotiate in 90% of the cases.
- LOVEBOMBING: When you meet someone new and they start to flatter and praise their way into your heart, you may just be preparing yourself for a traumatic bond. This period moves quickly and is very inorganic. Everything moves fast and you sometimes aren’t contributing much to the pace because the other person is doing all the work. After some time you let down your guard and allow yourself get caught up in the mood. You suddenly begin to trust the partner and their constant validation.
- BUILDING TRUST WHILE POKING VICTIM EMOTIONALLY: When a partner has been able to demonstrate that they can be trusted, it’s indeed a beautiful thing. However, if you notice yourself feeling guilty or ungrateful whenever you want to question intent or motive, It’s not natural. A healthy relationship must navigate the phase where both individuals MUST ask themselves questions about the authenticity of the new person in their life. The answer to this question must come from what is consistently demonstrated by the partner and not from what your partner says about themselves.
- CRITICISM: The moment you give your trust, the next stage in this toxic cycle is a subtle attack to some of your qualities that were never issues in times past. You now trust what this person says to you because they invested time in that phase. You suddenly notice that during fights or disagreements, holes are constantly being poked at your credibility or personality. In cases where the victim has a low sense of self esteem they will constantly find themselves apologizing for things that aren’t even their fault. The victim suddenly starts to feel loved because despite how wrong they are, their partner always forgives them. The constant dynamic of criticism and apologies is the real binding agent in a trauma bond because it usually occurs over a long period of time in most relationships before the victim notices the pattern.
- MANIPULATING & GASLIGHTING THE VICTIM: This stage has the victim questioning their reality.A gaslighter never takes any form of responsibility for their actions or behaviours. Their ability to shift blame on other people is their oldest trick because next to them, you seem like the one who is out of control and a wreck. Most Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissists express this trait. In some cases, the victims play out reactive abuse out of rage or a need to preserve themselves psychologically. This reaction is followed by intense guilt in most textbook trauma bond cases. The victim further questions their identity since the abuser must have separated the victim from anyone who provides them with balance and reassurance.
- THE GIVING UP STAGE: A trauma bond at this point usually hits a stable period because the victim has been programmed to accept abuse. This acceptance means they may have poor physical boundaries as they now strive to please people, become emotionally and financially dependent, may have had more children among many other situations that make it almost impossible to make clear decisions. For victims who start to recover and attempt to leave, this is the point the abuse moves from emotional/psychological to physical. This situation is triggered when an abusive partner suspects that they may be losing control.
- CHRONIC LOSS OF SELF: The aim of an abuser in a trauma bond is to gain control. Every action perpetrated on the victim is aimed at making them lose their sense of confidence. Due to the long periods of isolation, many victims lose close connections and opportunities because they may have lost their self-identity to a degree that people who used to know them cannot relate with them anymore. This damage to the victims confidence in 30-35 % of the cases result in suicidal ideation (This is a situation where an individual has thoughts of killing themselves as a likely option for exiting a discomforting situation). While many people around us (as much as 45%) may have thought of death as a sort of escape, almost 90% never carry it out. However the fact that this came up is a sign of poor mental health that needs to be checked out. Losing your self usually comes with feelings of shame, self-torture and regret which makes it more difficult to break the cycle of abuse and move forward.
- CYCLIC ADDICTION: Owing to the cyclic nature of abuse, many fights will be followed up by apologies and a period of peace. This peaceful period usually sees the abusive partner starting the entire process again by lovebombing the victim. A scenario that leaves the victim relaxed again after tense moments experienced. This (i.e. the false peace) becomes a form of positive reinforcement the victim constantly looks forward to. In some cases, the abuser now begins to withhold affection, love, care and attention forcing the victim to go extra lengths in a bid to regain favour.
HOW TO ESCAPE A TRAUMA BOND
- Your first step is to create a support system for yourself that can assist in providing objectivity as undue exposure to a trauma bond may leave you slightly imbalanced
- Speaking up within or to the support system about what you are going through is the next natural step to breaking free.
- Analyzing the situation with your support system to determine if leaving while your abuser is away, gathering proof or an agreed separation is best depending on the severity of issues faced
- After leaving an abusive relationship, you can either separate or file for a divorce
Many survivors of trauma bond relationships usually narrate how difficult it was to break free of the abuse due to the highs and lows. Therapy has helped many take the step towards the door and has also helped those who left rediscover their lives. Trauma Focused CBT is therapy specifically created for people who have survived abusive relationships.
Psychological abuse recovery is also one of the most important things to strive for with the help of a trained mental health expert. This will help you get back is mental shape while avoiding a meltdown in the future.
Is there anything i mentioned on this article that seems vaguely familiar? this is not the time to contemplate or persist in protecting an abusive spouse or partner. Most of the assault or murders of passion stories you hear about in the news all stemmed from this topic discussed today. Shine the light on abuse and begin your healing journey today by calling or sending an email to us.
A Hero Complex Always Makes You Want to ‘Save’ People
The Hero Complex, sometimes called the Hero Syndrome or Savior Complex, is when someone strives to be the hero of the situation. No matter the situation or the odds, they want to be the ones that save the day. In some definitions, a person with a hero complex will even create situations that inconvenience or harm others, just so they can take credit for fixing it later.
Is the Hero Complex a mental disorder?
No. While the Hero Complex is mainly a psychological phenomenon, it is not a diagnosable disorder or a clinical term. However, the reported symptoms of the Hero Complex (such as an exaggerated sense of self-worth), is similar to a grandiose delusion, also known as delusions of grandeur. Patients of GD consider themselves famous, wealthy, and powerful, sometimes even referring to themselves in divine terms.
The Hero Syndrome in the Workplace
Many believe that Hero Syndrome is commonly found in people with civil service jobs: police, firemen, and doctors. But the truth is that Hero Syndrome will be found just about anywhere with an office. You may work for them, or they may work for you. In fact, you may even have a Hero Complex!
Although it may seem negative, the Hero Complex is not necessarily a cause for concern. Some people simply want more recognition than others, which is common in an individualistic and capitalist culture. However, there are cases when Hero Complex could result in some dangerous situations.
The Dangers of the Hero Complex
Bitter and hostile environments – As you can imagine, having one person consistently boast about their achievements and abilities can grow old pretty quickly. In teams that require communication and teamwork, the one with Hero Complex may annoy and alienate his teammates.
An illusion of productivity – People with hero complexes may have an inflated sense of their heroism. Although they may remember saving the project before a deadline, other team members may remember them as the source for the delays in the first place.
Arrogance clouding judgment – Those concerned about their self-worth may prioritize their ego over their peers. The result- a focus on vanity metrics and titles over actual work. For example, a doctor may be so focused on getting a promotion that they may neglect their managerial duties in the hospital.
How to Identify the Hero Complex
Remember, the Hero Complex is not a diagnosable condition, so there’s no surefire way of knowing whether someone “has” the complex. But there are signs that may suggest a person is more likely to have the Hero Complex.
Showboating. People with Hero Complex like recognition- for their work, their clothes, their lifestyle.
Preaching or saving. Some people call it the Savior Complex because of their need to rescue those in need. They may be too quick to give advice or care more about the photo op at a charity event.
Narcissism. While showing off and helping others isn’t exactly a crime, it becomes questionable when the person is vain or self-centered. Narcissism is one of the telltale signs for a Hero Complex.
How to deal with the hero complex
Once again, not everyone with a hero complex will stir trouble. It’s perfectly acceptable if anybody is self-centered or boastful. Only when it begins to affect the work of the business do you need to consider your options.
If you suspect someone of having a disruptive hero complex, first assess why you came to that conclusion- is their behavior affecting the rest of the team’s mood? Does it result in less than acceptable work?
Talk to the person, or if you have an HR department, have someone mediate the conversation first. Let them know that while strong personalities are welcome, it should never make others feel miserable or less productive.
Uganda says Ebola caseload rises to 16 as outbreak grows
Uganda said on Sunday its Ebola caseload had jumped to 16 people while a further 18 people also likely had the disease, fuelling fears of a spreading outbreak that involves a strain for which a vaccine has not yet been found.
In a tweet, the ministry of health also said the death toll of confirmed cases remained four while 17 others classified as probable cases had also died. The outbreak had also now spread to three districts, all in central Uganda.
The east African country last week announced the outbreak of Ebola, a haemorrhagic fever whose symptoms include intense body weakness, muscle pain, headache and sore throat, vomiting, diarrhoea and rashes among others.
The current outbreak, attributed to the Ebola Sudan strain, appears to have started in a small village in Mubende district around the beginning of September, authorities have said.
The first casualty was a 24-year old man who died earlier this week.
The World Health Organization says the Ebola Sudan strain is less transmissible and has shown a lower fatality rate in previous outbreaks than Ebola Zaire, a strain that killed nearly 2,300 people in the 2018-2020 epidemic in neighbouring Democratic Republic of Congo.
Our Source: Reuters
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